And that is life.
You can plan, postulate, prophesize, and pray, but if it's not time, it's not time. God/the Universe/Fate/Murphy's Law, whatever you want to call the conductor of the Big Picture has a plan, and He/She does not always consult you, or even care about what you think you want or believe you should have.
I wanted long blonde hair when I was a kid. I got short, fine mousey-brown hair that my friends delighted in pulling out in tufts until puberty strengthened the strands—and me—enough to require effort (and stealth) to make a game of it. As it was not a fun game—someone (me) always got hurt—my tormentors finally lost interest (thank Dog). In my late teens, I decided one day I would own a red Ferrari. Not one of the ten-plus vehicles I've owned over the, um, many years since, was, or is, red. Or a Ferrari. Not that I let that stop me from driving like Tom Selleck on Magnum P.I. (yes, in ultra-short jean cut offs and a tank-top, with a big smile and mustache. Not). Anyway, if I have learned anything from all of this—okay, in the last six months—control is like smoke.
It's an amorphous by-product of energy and impossible to harness. You can "see" it, but you can't get a firm grip on it. You can try to grab hold, but you look like an idiot waving your arms and snapping your hands open and closed. At least that's how I feel I looked.
|Microsoft Clip Art|
Like a child trying to catch snowflakes, I waved my arms, snapped my hands, and spun circles in a vain attempt to capture the intangible. I packed and unpacked summer clothes and shoes, Christmas dishes/ornaments and decorations. Twice. Just boxed them up for the third time, and though it is my fondest wish that the next time I peel off the packing tape it's in our new home in our new location, I no longer expect it.
2014 is the year of Acceptance. Like I do when I float the river, I will let the current carry me, but keep my wits about me to direct and redirect as necessary to avoid rocks and deadheads; otherwise, I plan to relax, focus on things within my power (like writing, education, fitness, prepping house and listing at market value, and spending quality time with family and friends), and if I end up stirring a back eddy for another six months—or year—I will smile and imagine Daniel Craig with a martini and Tom Selleck shirtless in his jean cut-offs turning lazy circles on inflatable-loungers right alongside me.
Luck affects everything. Let your hook be always cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be a fish. ~Ovid